SPIRITUAL? TEXTFEST

A recent text session in which the parties involved shall remain anonymous.... I will randomly refer to them as D and C.... (Our secret is safe with me DAN!!) :

D: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17
C: " Amen...& sent from the Spirit thru you...the pope is on TV speaking of the gifts of the Spirit. You have a hot line with him?"
D: "No, but I'm jealous of the cool big honking poopa hat he gets to wear. Evangelical pastors get ripped off in the cool clothing side of things."
....As C is slowly trying to whip off the next witty response...Speedy Gonzales D gets another comment in....
D: "We don't get to use that cool fancy foofoo incense either..."
....C is forced to change, ergo erase, her message and write a new one....
C: "Nothing a honkin Yosemite Sam cowboy hat & better deodorant can't fix!"
D: "You've taken high church versus low church differences to new heights."
C: "Just doing my part for the UNITY of the church my brother..."
D: "It is now very clear indeed why there is so much division!!!"
...D beats C to the draw again...
D: "If I understand you right, if priests only took showers, they wouldn't need incense."
...C quickly? changes the message she HAD been working on...
C: "...Um....I believe I was addressing the issue of deodorant NOT soap."
D: "Perhaps you do not understand the nuanced doctrinal implications of your heretical positions."
C: "Perhaps YOU don't understand the implication of pit odor in the church!"
D: "Has it ever been determined what position Yosemite Sam held on head coverings?"
C: "I DO remember him saying TAKE cover before firing his musket...hmmmm......"
D: "Sounds too charismatic to me. Good fundamentalist doctrine always leads people to fire the musket first and then you say take cover."
C: "But does this include men or do they risk having their heads blown off?"
D: "If that fundamentalist group from Texas in the news lately is any indication, a few old guys who got the guns keep all the chicks and the boys get their heads blown off."
C: "I guess WHOEVER it is dies since the warning comes after the shot. What does that say bout fundamentalists?"
D: "What's it say about fundamentalists? Number 1 doctrine - buy a gun..."
C: "SERIOUSLY...Preach it brother!"
...C decides it is time to share her abiding love and respect for D before signing off...
C: "Thanks brother 4 truly being my best human source of spirit wisdom-encouragement...with a DELIGHTFUL twist!"
D: "Thanks. I'd share more but I'm heading to WalMart to buy a gun."